Who is The Web Expert?

Common to northern climes, The Web Expert (TWE) often makes his appearance towards the middle of a web project.  Like a Ninja, he appears out of nowhere.  Often unassuming, he may even be likeable; but be warned: he waits in the wings, waiting to strike.

Usually the son, nephew, or friend-of-a friend’s second cousin, The Web Expert may be called upon to ensure that the web project is going according to plan; albeit with little clue of what the actual plan is.  Upon learning of the project, he’ll offer up his services.  After all, he has a wealth of experience, having developed and authored numerous other family members’ websites.  In fact, he just completed a site about scrap-booking for his mother.  He’s accomplished and quite proficient with FrontPage.

He may not know what you’re paying these so called Professional Web Designers and Web Writers, but intuitively knows that you’re paying too high of a price for all that professional advice.  In fact, he can do the job for far less, or free!  It’ll take a while though, as he’s only available during the summer months: school starts in September. And what’s the rush, anyways?  It’s not like you’re paying for it.

Omnipotent about all things Web, the expert knows about SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and how to get your website to the top of Google:  He informs you that it’s a simple matter of stuffing keywords on a web page, sitting back and watching the magic happen.  And if that doesn’t work, spam the search engines – they love that!

He asks you why you’re paying for web content when the Internet’s littered with it – and it’s free!  “It’s all about cutting and pasting,” he says.  It’s not really copyright infringement, it’s the Internet.  And besides, nobody reads online.

He knows that in order to keep customers on your website, you MUST entertain them using Animation, Music and Video; preferably all at the same time.  That’s why everybody loves the Circus.

As for professional hosting, why pay extra?  He goes on to inform you that you already have web space available courtesy of your ISP.  As well,  you can save on the purchase of a domain name by piggy-backing on your ISP’s domain.

So what if your Web address appears as www.myisp.com/mybusinessname – it’s free!

You ask him about developing your database, letting him know that you’ll need the ability to make monthly product and service description changes.  He informs you that he hasn’t taken that course yet…

For all you do Web Expert, This Bud’s for You.

Ray Litvak
Toronto Web Writer